Ever have one of those years where you feel like it may kill you. Having it. Tomorrow starts only 4th week. Not sure how to handle it. It’s weird bc lessons are going well. That’s if I can get a lesson going. Classes are huge. Behavior is taxing. Just for one day I’d like to finish a sentence or two without interruption (and I really don’t talk much). I’m tired, make that exhausted. I find myself complaining often.
I have a reading class and for the 2nd year I’m clueless what to do with it. Doesn’t help the class is a nightmare from food fights in lunchroom to completely ignoring me when I speak. Give me a remedial math class any day of the week but a reading class of 31 6th graders and I’m lost.
I feel like a fraud blogging and giving advice on teaching when I seem to get through a day without having to hold my breath and count to 10. I feel like a fraud going to the Bammy’s next weekend because I’m not feeling to confident about my teaching and worthy of being in that group. I feel like a fraud because I know my gift is helping teachers more than it is being in the classroom. But there are not many jobs around here that would allow me to do that, heck when a job does come up I can’t even get an interview.
I feel stuck. I’m not sure why I’m putting myself in this vulnerable position by blogging it but I figured this is my explanation if I disappear for a while from blogging. I know its not for pity or “bless your heart” but this is a place I’ve always been completely honest. Hopefully I’ll find my niche. Until then, well, I don’t know.